I am sitting in front of my laptop feeling so tired that my eyes are going to close soon. Yet I am still not able to go to bed because I need to get my tutorial to be done.  Most of the time i would be telling myself that all my sacrifices would be deemed as efforts to my success in my future, although this road seems tough but I know I am and I could make all this to come true.  However when I start to feel stress and lose faith in myself, I would constantly ask myself if all these are really worth my sacrifices and am I suppose to continue feeling like this for the rest of my life.  Am I going to regret this? I can choose to go through another path and I am sure my parents are able to support my decisions then why am I making my life so terrible with so many commitments that sometimes I really feel like I am going to snap anytime.  I am just 20 years old with many dreams to fulfill but I am scared. I am scared if I don’t work hard now, my future would be something that I don’t want it to be.  So much of wanting to be a successful woman so much of wanting to be his wife. But whenever I see myself in the mirror, I would constantly pray that my illness would not be worsen and I don’t want to go uglier.. His mum asked me about wanting to give breastfeeding to the babies in the future and I was really sad. I am not sure if I could do it because my blood isn’t clean at all.

* just realized that I.didnt post this and it was in my Draft. *


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