There are many times when I like to think back about a lot of things. I have to admit that I really like to think a lot of stuffs especially when I am alone. I tend to reflect a lot of things especially things that I always regret. Impulse decisions always end up with regretness. Sometimes, It is not about regretting about the decisions, but regretting about the outcome that can be different if I took time to think about the whole decision process.
Somebody have to save me but I know I can only save myself because I am the one who is always swallowing all those thoughts slowly and causing misery in others. Especially talking to boyfriend and I made him think a lot like me. And that’s when I start to regret telling him so much because it seems like I’m causing misery on me.
April is always a month whereby we will definitely spend a lot of money because of birthdays, anniversary but thinking back it’s all worthwhile because we gone through a lot of obstacles and coming into this stage. I really love/like him a lot that I really don’t want him to leave me for others despite I have been telling him that he can go for others if he want. Anyway, can’t wait for batam trip with my family over the weekend with boyfriend coming along. Bonus Point is that he might be staying over due to early morning ferry! Despite not able to sleep together, I am still happy because he is always compromising me with things… even though he doesn’t seems like caring for me like the past because I have been getting little attention from him, I know he is still able to make it up for me. Sometimes I feel very abandoned and fed up with his actions, yet he still can make me laugh. I’m very blessed in love. Less actions but I know the love is there when he chose to think about what I said during the night and when I met him the next day, I asked why is he so tired, and he told me that he can’t sleep till 6am. I’m very sorry dear if you ever see this space. I want to tell you I am very sorry.