Things that killed me.

So long since I used tumblr and wordpress. I’m slowly trying to move myself away from social media websites. Now I’m only using youtube and twitter. Haha not that bad, but still.. at least I’m not using alot of social media stuffs. Hehe. I miss tumblr. Tumblr used to make me feel super happy. But I don’t want to keep relying on my laptop. SIgh even mummy is complaining about me. Oh well, I am fucking worried about my bank account now because i transferred monye using the bugis atm machine and … i dont know if im one of the victim. Need to update my bank book tomorrow. Fucking scared. zz

Speechless about myself.

I don’t really know what I am looking forward and what I’m suppose to be doing. I’m feeling quite lost. Papers are starting from tomorrow onwards and I haven’t been serious mugging hard for it. It’s like resource reviews and 6Ps? Do notes? I don’t know how to do notes because I will end up copy paste things from both resource review and 6ps. This really sucks because I have no idea what I’m doing. I stopped attending driving lessons when my tp is coming in like less than 2 months time? And I really need to have more practices because I still suck at circuit. I panic easily when things starts to mixed up together. I kind of hate my character. Why do I feel like everything is going wrong and I am not doing anything instead? I hate it when things all get together at one go. If.. I had practice more, don’t panic during my first TP and ignore the world, maybe I can pass and I won’t be panicking like now.. But things all happen for a reason, maybe I need to have more practices so that I can do it more better. I don’t know man. I feel like my instructor is like losing hopes on me too.. Am i really that useless?

A stab in my heart.

I really feel like stabbing myself when I see my mummy cried so hard when she explain about my illness to my grandpa because he was concern on why I keep going to the doctor. I have visited 3 or 4 doctors? And this doctor really give me better hope compared to the previous one because I see results. I see smiles on my parents face after the last visit and I hope good results are coming one after another. You wouldn’t know how it feels whenever the doctor look at my face, the face of my parents are always full of worried, scared, nervous. I have no idea why I’m the one who have this illness and why must I make my parents be so worried about me. I tried to be brave and strong but I’m really pretty scared about the end result. I don’t want to hide my face forever. I see the results of the other patients and I really wish I could be like them. I want to look pretty too. I wish For miracles to happen. Sometimes I wish my parents could just abandon me and leave me alone so that my family wouldn’t be so worried about me.

Blessed Feb Please.

I’m doing Business statistics practice questions that I’m suppose to hand up earlier on, but because of my laptop I didn’t. I’m pretty pissed with myself because almost everything is not going on my way, I’m starting to regret why did I even fail my TP for the first time? I am very pissed because my laptop is not working, my ear piece is not working pretty well and I even lost my calculator. WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT. I lost it in class somemore. I hope someone found and keep it for me. I wouldn’t have noticed it untill my sister told me… Feb is not a good month for me. I really hope someone will return it to me…. And now driving lessons are screwed because of the schedule of internship and It’s very hard for me to decide on the timing + ut exams too. I’m so screwed. I really hope I would pass it this time round… Please give me a blessed Feb. -Pray-

(T)

When a girl is quiet, please go over and give her a tight hug. Sometimes, she just feel so low and really need someone to be there. Even if she keep quiet, even if she said nothing. A hug means alot to her.

(T)

Can’t believe that 15 weeks passed by so fast, last 3rd day of school and I will be out of school, expcet coming back for exams.. I will be having my internship and I won’t be back till my next semester. I will definetly miss … the food. Sigh and of course, the classmates!!

This is so me.

我又不漂亮又不温柔，长得圆咕隆咚的，还老爆脾气。心情不好的时候不爱搭理人，疯疯癫癫，懒得要死，不爱学习整天想些有的没的，整天白日梦又不肯付出行动，三分钟热度，有时候无理搅三分，容易生气容易哭更容易大笑，更重要的是，我还老爱说：我饿了。

Pimples

I really admire the courage I have for not wearing makeup out from house and allowing my pimples to show out to everybody and accepting everybody’s judgement about how I look like. True friends don’t care.

And my boyfriend have to demoralise me that he can easily find 100 pimples on my face. Seriously!?

Love is fragile.

And we are not always its best caretaker, but we tried and muddle through and do out best. Hoping that this fragile thing survives, against all odds.

(T)